{Family Movie Night, Take Two}

We've enjoyed family movie night on Friday evenings for quite a while now. We've shared plenty of laughter, plenty of tears (I simply cannot make it through Maria's bridal march to save my life) and, unfortunately . . . plenty of disagreements.

Yes, it's true.

This discord is largely on account of three factors:

1. We are all sinners. All six of us. This means we are all selfish. Which means we all want our own way.

2. We are all different ages. All six of us. This means that a teenage boy and a six-year-old girl will not necessarily both be thrilled when the movie choice for the night is Star Wars. Someone's gonna object. But I'm not gonna say who.

3. We all have different interests. All six of us. (Have you noticed a theme here?) I like 40s classics. Jamie gets a kick out of the old Disney movies. The boys like . . . boy things that shout and make noise. The girls would watch Little Women every week if they could.

I'm not sure how many times we've started a movie, only to find that half of the members were bored out of their minds (or asleep). This usually meant that we ended up resorting to choosing a couple of Andy Griffith episodes which we knew would be a hit. But still. Variety is nice. And I really hate the thought of sitting in front of the television "just because."

What's a family to do?

Thankfully, my brilliant husband recently came up with a solution. We each take turns being in charge of family movie night. How easy is that? We're starting with Miss Kate. This means that tonight she gets to select the movie.

This also means that everyone else gets to selflessly put themselves into the shoes of a six-year-old girl and grow to appreciate her interests and tastes. We don't balk at her choice, but eagerly enjoy the time spent together.

Furthermore, each person will be enriched by a greater variety of film choices which will eventually lead to stimulating discussions and a widened understanding of the world around us. (Of course at this point in the game Dad and Mom still preview and carefully monitor the titles that are available to the children.)

I know that the older children will start to see the dilemma that we parents face: How to select titles that a wider audience will appreciate? They get the idea of wanting to enjoy a flick while also being aware of other viewers in the room. I'm interested to see how this all pans out.

For now, Miss Kate has Enchanted on the brain. Bethie is eager to share Anne of Green Gables in a few weeks, and Aidan is trying to decide between Cars 2 and Newsies. I know which one I would choose, but I shan't say a word. This sinful old mom (who prefers musicals) will quietly step aside and thoroughly enjoy whatever her nine-year-old pops into the player. Because that's what family movie night is all about.

What are your favorite family movies?

{Sensible Giving}

When I was a young newlywed, I got really excited for Christmas. The lights, music, decorations, anticipation . . . it was wonderful. And then we had children. Which, of course, meant that we had no money. At first, with just one or two kids, it wasn't such a big deal. But by number four I was just that much more aware of how hard it was to provide meaningful gifts for everyone.

Suddenly, Christmas became a very stressful time of year. I'd sit at the sewing machine for the whole month of December and agonize over the mixed emotions I was experiencing. This was supposed to be a season of merry and bright and O come let us adore Him, not "How on earth are we going to do this?"

Come Christmas day, of course, the merry faces and sweet spirits made it all worthwhile, but I couldn't escape that feeling of dread. (And I certainly didn't want to sew one more doll dress or pair of pajamas. Ever.)

Christmas just wasn't supposed to feel like that.

As the years evolved, I started to pinpoint a few problem areas. There were priorities to shift, gifts to cut back on and extended family members to coordinate with. With changes here and there, we gradually grew to a place of blessed peace and renewed enthusiasm. Christmas was once again a season of joy.

Perhaps you find yourself in a similar situation. May I share a few discoveries that we've made along the way? Hopefully some of them will ease any stress you may have during the Christmas season.

1. Gifts of Three. As I mentioned in a previous post, we've chosen to give our children three gifts each. They usually receive "something to play with, something you need, and something special for you to read." This keeps us focused and intentional.

2. Plan ahead. I keep a notebook throughout the year where I jot down gift ideas. I have the "three gifts" idea in mind and it helps me stay on track.

3. Plan ahead on the stockings, too. It's easy to go overboard on stockings. Especially when they're not planned ahead of time and there's that panicky feeling of needing to stuff them now. I have four shoe boxes under my bed. (Don't tell the kids!) One box for each of their stockings. I've chosen a pre-determined number of simple items for their stockings, and as I find or make things throughout the month, I toss them into the box. (Visit this post over at Passionate Homemaking for inexpensive stocking stuffer ideas.)

4. Consider buying gifts that go with a set. One of the stressful elements of gift buying and receiving is the thought of, "Where are we going to keep that?" As much as possible, we find gifts that can be added to a collection that our kids already have. For example, when Aidan was in his Thomas the Tank Engine phase, he received new engines or track pieces. (This info was passed onto grandparents as well in order to minimize the amount of stuff that accumulated.)

5. Special stockings for Mom and Dad. There have been especially lean years where Jamie and I have decided not to purchase gifts for each other (or where we simply chose to buy one thing that was especially needed). Instead, we focused on meaningful stocking gifts for each other and took joy in giving the "tree gifts" to our children. Funny, but those years stand out as rather hallowed in my memory.

6. Coordinate with extended family. As the family grows, so does the gift list. There have been years where we've drawn names and done group gifts. For several years, my sister and sister-in-law and I agreed to purchase one gift (such as a puzzle or game) for our nieces and nephews instead of individual gifts for every single child. Now that they're a bit older, we pair the kids off. For example, Bethie exchanges gifts with her cousins Alainna (on my side of the family) and Olivia (on Jamie's side). We set a price limit, and the kids absolutely love buying for each other.

7. Consider revising adult gift giving. We used to exchange gifts with our own siblings (by drawing names or pairing off), but in the past few years we've revised this as well. We realized that we'd much rather spend time together than money, especially with my brother and sister-in-law living overseas. So when we do get together, we plan a special dinner date. It's become a yearly tradition that we really look forward to.

8. Go through the closets. Start putting together a few boxes of items to donate before Christmas. Adding new toys or clothes to your home can be messy and overwhelming.

9. Give gifts that siblings will enjoy. One of my favorite things is seeing my children play together. There are a number of toys and games that are interactive and promote this kind of play. When possible, we focus on gifts that will keep our kids playing together.

10. Embrace tradition. As I look back on past years and hear the kids talk of their fond memories, I realize that it's not the gifts that matter. (Cliche, yes. Also true.) They are mostly excited about family and traditions.

If you don't have many traditions, why not start a few this year? Throw your kids in the van, turn on the Christmas music, pass out the candy canes and drive around looking at Christmas lights. Or snuggle up on the couch with popcorn and White Christmas. Visit a retirement home and share music and homemade ornaments. Light the candles and read A Christmas Carol or invite your children to act out the nativity. The possibilities are endless. And these are the things your kids will remember.

I glance at the calendar and see that it's already December 6th. There's still quite a bit to do, but I don't feel anxious or stressed or worried. I feel excited and eager and hopeful. Just like a kid.

{Our Favorite Christmas Traditions}

I love driving through town and catching glimpses of warmly lit living rooms, especially during the holiday season. Tall trees blink and sparkle in the front windows, children running 'round its base, merry as can be. No doubt there is Christmas music coming from within, mingled with the aroma of cider warming on the stove top. Perhaps I'm an idealist? Yes, perhaps.

Now, if I was to actually step into one of those homes, I'm sure there would be plenty of real life going on. Piles of laundry, LEGOs underfoot (ouch!) and dinner running late. Yep. Just like our home.

There's definitely plenty of real life going on over here. But I've found that it's the real life mixed with the ideal that makes it so magical. It's the dream blending with the reality in perfect peace. They actually can co-exist, especially when one is grateful for the present. Grateful for now.

The now I'm finding myself in this month has been preceded by thousands of other "nows." Gradually, over time, these "nows" have become traditions. And so I share with you a glimpse into our real, topsy-turvy December. The traditions that have been born over time, the moments that our kids look forward to for weeks and months, the silly "nows" that, although nowhere near perfect, have given us a glimpse of heavenly peace.

1. Decorating the tree. I asked the kids what their favorite tradition is. I think they all said it was decorating the tree. That may sound like a very unoriginal choice. But there's more. Because every year since we were married, the decorating of the tree has been accompanied by doughnuts and hot chocolate (a tradition that started during Jamie's childhood) with Arthur Fiedler's Boston Pops orchestra playing in the background (a nod to my childhood). The kids take turns putting the angel on top each year, too. Jamie hoists them up and we quickly snap a picture. Those kids are starting to get really heavy.

2. Reading A Christmas Carol. This morning, in lieu of our traditional school work, I pulled out our illustrated Dickens. I've divided the book evenly into sections so that we can read through the story over the course of the next few weeks. It's great fun to whip out my British accent, and the kids are starting to light up when we come across familiar passages. "There is no doubt that Marley was dead. This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am going to relate . . . ." (I can't help but picture Gonzo saying this.)

3. The Christmas Books come out! I had planned on wrapping up 24 picture books as a sort of Christmas countdown, but the kids were so eager for me to bring down the box of Christmas books that I decided to just put them out and let them feast. I do have a handful of picture books they have yet to see, though, thanks to my jaunts to Goodwill. So I think I'll just make a new tradition. Every Friday morning in December, a wrapped book will await them at the school table. I'm excited.

4. Jesse Tree Journey. We've been so blessed by Ann Voskamp's advent devotions. Every night we light candles in the living room and gather round to read, pray and sing. Even if it's late, we pull our hearts together for this moment. It's glorious.

5. Stockings in Bed. This is another tradition that I carried over from my childhood. On Christmas morning, my brother, sister and I brought our stockings into our parents' room, piled onto their bed and took turns pulling out treasure after treasure until we finally reached the little orange at the very end. So it's continued with my own children, right down to the mandarin orange.

6. Christmas Breakfast. After stockings, we have our first Christmas meal. The menu has changed little over time. I always serve an egg casserole dish, sour cream coffee cake, sausage (would you be horrified if I told you it was reindeer sausage? I kid you not . . . ) and a saucer of fruit. Sparkling cider bubbles in the crystal goblets, and the children feel quite grown up when sipping at the sweet drink.

7. Gifts of Three. Long ago I heard someone share a wonderful idea. Just as our Savior received three gifts as a child, this is the number of gifts that we give to our own children. It keeps the focus simple and pure and helps us give wisely and purposefully. When the children were especially young, I made a rhyme out of the gifts they would receive:

Something to play with,
Something you need,
Something special for you to read.

The "things" have evolved over time, but the principle has remained the same. I'll share more about gift giving in a later post.

There are other traditions, some small, some big, some conventional, some not. Each has become a part of our December tapestry, part of this real family living real life. Living now.

What Christmas traditions have been born in your own home? May we take a peek?

Why November Fifth is Special

Did you know that pumpkins can be carved after October 31st? It's a fact. We proved it just this afternoon.

I shall begin by admitting that I tend to be a bit of a procrastinator. This year, October was rather busy (you know, all that sitting I had to do), so the whole pumpkin thing kept getting pushed back and back until it somehow accidentally became November. Oops.

My dear children know that their mother is a procrastinator. So it didn't seem at all strange when, on the first day of November, I agreed to the idea of picking up some pumpkins. They were thrilled. (The children, not the pumpkins.)

You can imagine their disappointment, however, when we arrived at the local farm fifteen minutes after they had closed. Bummer and rats.

So I was relieved to drive by the farm early this morning and see that there were still several bins of pumpkins left over.

I passed this precious bit of information on to my obliging husband, and by late afternoon our children found themselves merrily digging through muddy pumpkins at a mostly deserted pumpkin patch.

That sounds rather pathetic. But believe me, they were pleased as Punch.

When we got home, they scooped and carved as though it was perfectly normal to scoop and carve on November 5th.

They roasted the seeds as though it was perfectly normal to roast seeds on November 5th. In fact, I'm snacking on seeds right now, as though it's perfectly normal to snack on seeds on November 5th.

And guess what? Kid pumpkins look just as cute on the mantle whether it's October 31st or November 5th.

I think that's one of the great things about being a mom. Because moms can make any day special. Even November 5th.