Thursday, November 11, 2010

Just as I Am (Just as Soon as I'm Ready)

There are two especially cozy places in my home that are ideal for opening my Bible and communing with the Lord. One happens to be the school room. I tend to venture there when I feel like my life is a bit more put together. The books are lined obediently on the shelves, the clock ticks reliably in the corner, the sun slips warmly through the blinds, and the round, brown table offers to hold my journal, tea and Bible for a meeting with my Savior.

The other cozy place is in my bedroom. A big, squishy chair sits invitingly in the corner, draped with a throw that my Mama's friend gave me years ago. This is where I land when I feel like I need to escape. It's often gray and rainy when I choose this refuge. I don't bother with the tea. The children have most likely just finished bouncing off the walls, and I have most likely just finished banishing them to their rooms for a quiet time so that I can banish myself for the same purpose.

Lately, however, I've been neither put together nor fraught with despair. I've been just plain busy. The table in the school room has been piled with neglected stuff -- ungraded papers, yarn, stubby crayons, a cap-less glue stick, confiscated kitchenware -- stuff that just landed and stayed put. The cozy chair in my room has been piled with laundry, yarn (there's always yarn lying around -- it's uncanny), band-aid wrappers (another ubiquitous nuisance) and a dozen books.

Sometimes, it's too easy to pass my cozy places by. There's much to be done, and I'm not quite ready. Perhaps just as soon as I sort through this pile . . . .

Thankfully, I eventually stop in my tracks when this happens and realize the ludicrous pattern I've developed. Since when should I decide to share a quiet moment with the Lord only when my cozy spots are available?

This afternoon was one of those "stop in my tracks" days. I hadn't even put on my makeup yet and was feeling not at all put together. But the Lord gently reminded me that He wants me just as I am -- not just as soon as I'm ready.

Well, the school room was definitely out of the question. I headed upstairs (after banishing the wee peeps) and attempted to approach the squishy chair. I was sure it was there somewhere. After removing the laundry and several Dr. Seuss books, I found my refuge. Sinking into the welcome quiet, I thanked God for His persistence and faithfulness. He blessed me, as always, with encouragement, grace and unconditional love.

I went from that place veiled in peace. The rest of the afternoon was peaceful, the evening was peaceful. The children were no less bouncy, and the table was no less cluttered. But I had answered the Lord's call, and He had blessed me -- just as I am.
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